Dear Friend

Dear Friend
I want you to know

Your life is worth living
Your story is worth sharing

Your words are encouraging
Your smile is contagious

Your ideas are worth sharing
Your thoughts are worth discussing

You matter

Thank you for sharing your life with me

You are Dead

You are dead to me

A foreign body

I was amusement for you

Just another form of cheap entertainment

You are nothing but a memory

Someone who occupied time in my life

Our friendship was a figment of my imagination

Because I see now that I wasn’t important to you

I’m sorry I was a part of your life

Please feel free to move on

Oh wait…you already have

Drive Me Deep To Face Myself

*I did not write this. It is from a book of prayers put together by Arthur Nelson

Lord, grant me your peace,
For I have made peace
With what does not give peace
And I am afraid
Drive me deep, now,
To face myself so I may see
That what I truly need to fear is
My capacity to deceive
And willingness to be deceived
My loving of things
And using of people,
My struggle for power
And shrinking of soul,
My addiction to comfort
And sedation of conscience,
My readiness to criticize
And reluctance to create
My clamor for privilege
And silence at injustice,
My seeking for security
And forsaking the kingdom

Lord grant me your peace
Instill in me such a fear of you
As will begin to make me wise,
And such a quiet courage
As will enable me to begin
To make hope visible
Forgiving delightful
Loving contagious
Faith liberating,
Peace making joyful
And myself open and present
To other people and your kingdom

Lost in Thought

Trying to find my way out

Because I’m lost

Wonder if you will hear me out

Because right now I feel silent

The weight of the future

Is heavy on my mind

I feel like my world

Is turning upside-down

No absolutes

Everything up in the air

Lost, silent, upside-down

This is my life

Who I want to be

I want to be legit

The real deal


Not watered down

Or a generic brand


Not a fake, fraud

Or a phony


I want to be

Someone you can count on


One who speaks truth

Honest


One who loves deeply

And gives generously


Who is above reproach

Not a stumbling block


I want to be legit

The real deal


*I found this on my computer. I wrote it awhile ago but never posted it.

The Prairie

I’ve fallen love with the prairie


Wide open area
Clouds above my head and wind that moves the native grasses


Colors and smells of vegetation which are a result of
Plant diversity after a restoration


Birds and animals that are seen
And the sounds that they make


The memories that have been made
While roaming the land


There is a peace on the prairie
That all is right in the world

Taking things slowly

One breath, than another
In and out, in and out

One second has passed
Now a minute

One step after another
Slowly but surely

One day at a time
Taking each moment as it comes

Every day is a gift
There is so much to be thankful for

Because life is very fragile
Be careful how you live

The Woman in the Crowd

Here I am
Among the crowds

Hurting and broken
Tired and weary

Waiting for the Savior
To come close to where I am

Because I have faith
In the Savior they call Jesus

That I may touch His cloak
And His power can work in me

Just one touch
And I will be healed

Just one touch
And I will be freed from my suffering

Savior please pass by
I have faith that you can heal me


Mark 5:24-34
Luke 8:43-48

Cytomegalovirus

As I watch the red dots
Slowly form on my skin
Fear washes over me and
Leaves me feeling numb

My mind starts analyzing
How am I feeling?
Do I have a fever?
Am I overly tired?

I thought the virus
Was a part of my past
A really bad dream
That I had finally woke up from

Is this a relapse?
Is my body rebelling again?
I was finally “normal”
Did I try to do too much?

My lymph nodes are swollen
Just like last spring
The signs that I ignored
Until finally I collapsed

Now I am afraid
Afraid that the virus
That put my life on hold
Will do it again

Encouragment

"I would like to share with you what makes me complete. I don't claim to have found the Truth, but I know it has found me. . the only thing that isn't meaningless to me is Jesus Christ and and way he set me free. This is all that I have. This is all that I am." ~Sara Groves from her song Conversations

Here is the rest of the song
http://saragroves.com/lyrics/conversations/conversations/

Hush

Why are you reading that book? That's a question I have been asked a few time since buying two books about sexual abuse. It's not that I have experiences something like that, because I haven't.

I am reading these books to pass on to people in my life who have been hurt by this particular topic.


Nocole Braddock Bromley the author of the books Breathe and Hush came to Greenville College in December. She talked in chapel and also did a girls talk. She was an excellent speaker. She got down on our level and shared her story and her struggle.

As I listened to her speak I was overwhelmed by the amount of people that stay silent about how they have been sexually abused. I then thought about the people in my life that have been hurt and how they feel like they need to be silent.

I am now reading the book "Hush: moving from silence to healing after childhood sexual abuse."
The other one I have is "Breathe: finding freedom to thrive in relationships after sexual abuse."


If you read this post and are interested in reading either of the books let me know and I will be glad to let you read them. If you would like to talk about the contents of the book I would love to talk to you.

The Lenses I See Through.

I see the world through the eyes
Of a homeschooler
Too many people overwhelm me
I dislike talking in big groups
I learn best by myself


I see the world through the eyes
Of an environmental biologist
Everything we do affects something else
The more I learn the more aware and in awe I am
Because everything fits together


I see the world through the eyes
Of a chemist
I wonder what things are made up of
How they all fit together
And what their properties are


I see the world through the eyes
Of an American
I am lazy
I have everything I need and then some
The world revolves around me


I see the world through the eyes.
Of a Christian
It’s the standard I live by
The lifestyle I chose
I choose to live by faith

Beautiful Girl

She’s a beautiful girl
With beautiful eyes
Eyes that try to hide
Everything she’s been through

She’s a beautiful girl
Who has seen way too much
Innocence has been lost
By people she should be able to trust

She’s a beautiful girl
Who struggles with trust
Because people come
And people go

She’s a beautiful girl
Who is trying to overcome
The challenges that life
Has given her

She’s a beautiful girl
With a beautiful heart
She has stories to tell
If you just listen

I am American

I complain about the price of gas
When I am part of 8% of the world
That owns a vehicle

When I say I am starving
It means I missed one of my three daily meals
I actually don’t know what it feels like to be hungry

Water pressure and temperature is a must
When showering or washing dishes
But how much of the world has clean water?

The water I use to water my plants
Is cleaner than the water
That a lot of the world drinks

I complain about waking up for class
How many people are able to go to school
Especially past high school

I am a girl
Yet I have my own dreams
And chose my own future

Church and religion is routine
However, there are millions all over the world
Killed because they believe the same things I do

Why was I born in America?
How can I not misuse what I have?
How can I learn to share what I have been given?

Over My Head

I thought I could take on the ocean
I thought I could swim

Why did I think I could jump
and stay a float

The water is too deep
I'm in over my head

It feels like I'm drowning
I'm struggling to breathe

If I called would you hear me?
If I called would you rescue me?

Do I want you to see my weakness?
Do I want you to save me?

I'm too proud to call out for help
Even though there are many waiting on shore

I will stay here in over my head
And hope I learn how to swim

Response to audio clip of Tony Campolo

* I am posting this as a request from someone. It is one of my papers from the class I am taking this interterm (Science and Christianity)
______________________________________________________________


I am over half way done with my undergrad education. With graduation coming closer and closer, I am in the process of figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life. My passion is learning about and working with the environment. I had the opportunity to work for the US Fish and Wildlife service during the summer of 2009. Since that job, I have had a drive to excel in my studies, to attend graduate school after undergrad, and then to possibly work for the US Fish and Wildlife service.

Last spring/summer I became very sick and because of that, I spent many hours thinking about my life and what I had accomplished and what I wanted to accomplish. I realized how caught up I had become in my career goals and how my faith had been pushed aside when it was not convenient. After returning to Greenville College for the fall semester, I took the class New Testament Survey taught by Ruth Huston. During this class, I was reminded of who Jesus was in the New Testament. Jesus was a radical individual. Tony Campolo said that Jesus is counter-cultural. Jesus called those around him to live differently than what was expected of them. As a Christian, I am called to be like Jesus. Unfortunately, in this society, Christianity isn’t very radical.

Tony Campolo talked about how we can make a difference, how we can change the world, and how we should be radical agents for the transformation of the world. What does that look like though? How does it apply to someone who wants to be a wildlife biologist? Can I make a difference in the world for Christ using the occupation I am pursuing? What does it look like to “Live the impossible dream for Jesus Christ”? Right now, I am pursuing the American dream. I am working towards getting a good education so I can get a good job, so I can make money. How do I break out of this cycle?

During global impact week during the fall, I talked with a couple who works for Interserve. Interserve is a mission’s organization that works in places where typical missionaries are not allowed to go. They use people’s occupations to place them in closed locations. The couple informed me that there is a need for people with environmental backgrounds. There are many underdeveloped nations that need help learning about clean water, raising crops for food, and education in taking care of the environment around them. Am I willing to give up my comfortable life to go serve others? I am being educated in areas that could help. The expectation for me is to excel in what I do and to be successful in whatever job I may someday have. Is it a waste of my education to go into missions? It is easier to talk about missions and support missionaries then to commit to giving up what you have here and trusting God to take care of you wherever you may go. William Carey said, “Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God.” What will happen if I attempt great things for God and expect great things for him? Does it mean that I may end up living in another country someday?

The thought that Tony Campolo closed his talk on was the idea of working toward gaining titles or testimonies. No matter where I am and what I am doing. I want my faith to be a part of my daily life. I want to be a radical Christian, but I do not know what that looks like. I think that we as Christians need to stop being apathetic because we feel like we cannot change everything in the world. We need to start doing small things and see what happens. As Tony Campolo mentioned, “Christianity has come of age.” We have well educated people in the world and we have the ability to train the next generation. I think part of that is Christians taking time to have a mentor and be a mentor. Maybe it is just something simple like investing time in someone else. If we don’t share our faith, who will? If Christians do not talk about the topics that are avoided, how will the next generations know both sides of the topics? Christian colleges have an opportunity to make a big impact. I made the decision to come here and I know for a fact that my experience here has changed me for the better.

The Beginning of Life

When does life begin?
When does a bunch of cells
Become a human being?

Is it at the blastocyte stage?
Before the cells start dividing
When there is a complete set of DNA?

Is something as small as a period life?
Is it worth protecting?
Does it count as a human?

Do we need to be able to see the child
Count its fingers and watch it move
In order for it to be life?

Or do we need to be able to
Hold it, touch it
And give it a name before it has life?

Someone once told me
That it’s not when life beings
But it is hoping that life has begun

Conception, fertilization, or even after birth
Do I need to figure out when life begins?
Why do I need to form an opinion?

Because what I think
Will influence the way I vote
About embryo stem cell research

Is a blastocyte a life?
Is embryo stem cell research ending a life?
When does life begin

*Thank you COR 302 (Science and Christianity) for making me think about issues like this one.

Church

A political place
Filled with hate
Instead of love

The size of building
Signifies wealth
Instead of changed lives

The elders and leaders
Are dirty old
Men

People come here
Once a week
To pay their dues

The deep offering plate goes by
And people give
Out of guilt and obligation

Not a place of worship
But of unapproved looks
And judgment

Welcome
This is the American church
Won’t you join us?


*based on a conversation with a good friend over break

Ordinary Objects

Somedays I feel like a Styrofoam plate

Useful

Until my purpose has been fulfilled

Then discarded

Thrown away

Not needed anymore

Somedays I feel more like a mug

Waiting

In the back of a cupboard

Sometimes chosen to be used

But usually just there

Because there are many others just like me

Then there are the days I feel like a sock

Ordinary

Not the favorite socks

The last resort

The pair that you only wear

When you have no others clean