Letting You Go

Sometimes

I think it would be easier

To delete you out of my life

And save myself future hurt

Than to have you be there

Unaware of my existence

Reminding me of the past

And how you left me hanging

Promises not kept

You were afraid

That I was the one who would leave

Now you are the one not responding

The American Dream

A life filled with comfort

Safe

Everything you could ever need

And then some

High school diploma

A college degree

Working a nine to five job

Above minimum wage pay

Benefits

A nice big house

Complete with a white fence

A picture perfect family

With 1.86 kids and a dog

Average

Pew warmers, religious on paper

But actions and words show differently

The American dream

This is my future

To pursue, or not to pursue

Reflection from 2011

Top 3 favorite classes
Science and Christianity
Major Issues of Philosophy
Instrumental Analysis

Top 3 favorites
Being in Lori and Mike Masons wedding
Working at Rydell/Glacial Ridge NWR
Spending time with family and friends

Accomplishments for the year
Finishing my junior year at Greenville College (after being sick)
Getting accepted into the US Fish and Wildlife Service SCEP program
Taking the GRE and applying to grad school

Looking forward to in 2012
Working at Mingo NWR
Catherine and Jeremy’s wedding
Hopefully getting accepted into grad school
Graduating from Greenville College

Dear Friend

Dear Friend
I want you to know

Your life is worth living
Your story is worth sharing

Your words are encouraging
Your smile is contagious

Your ideas are worth sharing
Your thoughts are worth discussing

You matter

Thank you for sharing your life with me

You are Dead

You are dead to me

A foreign body

I was amusement for you

Just another form of cheap entertainment

You are nothing but a memory

Someone who occupied time in my life

Our friendship was a figment of my imagination

Because I see now that I wasn’t important to you

I’m sorry I was a part of your life

Please feel free to move on

Oh wait…you already have

Drive Me Deep To Face Myself

*I did not write this. It is from a book of prayers put together by Arthur Nelson

Lord, grant me your peace,
For I have made peace
With what does not give peace
And I am afraid
Drive me deep, now,
To face myself so I may see
That what I truly need to fear is
My capacity to deceive
And willingness to be deceived
My loving of things
And using of people,
My struggle for power
And shrinking of soul,
My addiction to comfort
And sedation of conscience,
My readiness to criticize
And reluctance to create
My clamor for privilege
And silence at injustice,
My seeking for security
And forsaking the kingdom

Lord grant me your peace
Instill in me such a fear of you
As will begin to make me wise,
And such a quiet courage
As will enable me to begin
To make hope visible
Forgiving delightful
Loving contagious
Faith liberating,
Peace making joyful
And myself open and present
To other people and your kingdom

Lost in Thought

Trying to find my way out

Because I’m lost

Wonder if you will hear me out

Because right now I feel silent

The weight of the future

Is heavy on my mind

I feel like my world

Is turning upside-down

No absolutes

Everything up in the air

Lost, silent, upside-down

This is my life